4, 14, 34, 26

I leave for Peru in four days, fourteen hours, thirty-four minutes and twenty-six seconds.

Actually, 4, 4, 16, 19 might be more accurate now that I am flying to Vancouver, but I'll just let the little ticker on the right have its say. Even in the time it took me to write that (and figure out the updated countdown) I have come that much closer to what feels like my impending doom. Despite my usual optimism, you could say my enthusiasm has fizzled somewhat since October. I feel more like I'm about to walk off a cliff than onto a plane. Why!? This is what I've always dreamed of; I have been waiting to travel, really travel since I was like, twelve... so what is wrong with me?! Maybe it's just that I have forgotten to look forward to all the amazing things I will experience and am clinging to all the good times I have here at home. (My stomach churns when I think of leaving all you amazing people for so long!) Maybe I'm afraid of being forgotten. You know... out of sight, out of mind. What about when I get back? Will I be able to get everything I need together for university? Will I be able to find a job? Don't get me wrong, especially you people who are prone to worry (Mom), I have everything I need as far as passports, vaccines, insurance go. I have confidence in my own travel smarts and God's plan for me. I'm not worried about missing my plane in Mexico City or contracting thyphoid in the Amazon. I just seem to have convinced myself that I'm not going to have fun. That everything happening before and after my trip is more important than what I will do during.

I believe that once I get on the plane in Vancouver (or it might take until I get off the plane in Lima) I will be filled with the joy of possibilities and the excitement new places. I know that I will. And then my journey will start fresh and I will embrace it with open arms and a smiling face. You can expect many happy reports from me in the next few months. I already feel better in writing this; releasing all my negativity, admitting I have doubts but also remembering that they shouldn't be given so much importance as to affect how I anticipate my trip or, more importantly, my focus on Jesus, who died so I could live life to the full! (John 10:10)

Please pray for me as I go and for Aldea Yanapay, where I will be volunteering. Please don't hesistate to comment on my blog posts (it lets me know that someone reads them!) and stay tuned for said happy reports of my adventures! :)

with love,
Julia

 ^"So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."
Matthew 6:31-33